Intimacy– fairly large word as the English language goes, 4 syllables
It is a word most women long for…many men shudder
It is a word God desires for us and the word the enemy fears for us
It is a combination of…Trust, Love, vulnerability, strength
Hopefully in a few minutes we will all be at peace with this word and moving toward true intimacy
Believe it or not, it is something everyone desires
Failures in intimacy case things like
Depression
Unfulfilled expectations
Feelings of worthlessness
Broken relationships
Broken marriages
Job loss
Emptiness
Sex is not real intimacy – sex is simple biology or lust drives a person alone it leaves people empty with no connection, intimacy builds a relationship to lovemaking and wholeness, completeness and connection
Intimacy is not people sitting in a room on their devices or watching TV….that may be relaxing but it is not intimacy
Intimacy is not casual
Intimacy is not accidental
Intimacy is not closed
So we have some of what intimacy is not so what is it?
Intimacy is a deep connection with a friend, child, parent, spouse, God, that says…I know you, you know me, you accept me for who I am and love me enough to push me to be better. I can share with you my fears, loves, worries, joys, I can be totally vulnerable to you and you will still love me, believe in me, and value me, and not judge me…it is like trust but more than trust
Jesus talks about the intimacy that He and the Father want with us
John 17:21
“I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.”
In this one verse Jesus’ high priestly prayer is for the power of God to flow through His people in the way it did through Jesus as he walked the earth
“I pray that they will be one, just as you and I are one”
There was nothing between Jesus and His Father but love and He is praying here that there would be nothing between each one of us but love.
Remember a few weeks ago I talked about how “love” is one of the evidences of the Holy Spirit
It is the Father’s heart that we walk in intimacy with one another that there would be an openness and a vulnerability that is rewarded with trust, love and being fully accepted.
Gossip, backbiting, tearing one another down, un-Christ-like competition, jealousy, envy, slander, fear these and many more things are the things that cause walls that hinder intimacy. Intimacy builds bridges and tears down walls
Matthew 18:19,20
I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”
There is power in unity of the church family….many times the reason we don’t see the Holy Spirit move is because the power of agreement moves mountains but notice it only takes a few but then if you are not in unity you might miss it….it is sad to say but I have seen this often, a miracle report will be shared about a healing, salvation, a relationship restoration, financial miracle, a new job and after the service or a few days later I will ask people and they will have no recollection or will belittle the miracles of God….I am not a hype person, I am a person of intimacy…Jesus stressed this with in Luke 10:38-42
As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Let’s look at my definition again of intimacy
Intimacy is a deep connection with a friend, child, parent, spouse, God, that says…I know you, you know me, you accept me for who I am and love me enough to push me to be better. I can share with you my fears, loves, worries, joys, I can be totally vulnerable to you and you will still love me, believe in me, and value me, and not judge me…it is like trust but more than trust
Do you see the difference between Mary and Martha with this definition?
The vulnerability, acceptance, honesty, and openness that were happening here between Mary and Jesus…our minds can make this sexual but it was not,
it was a pure honest love of two people valuing and seeing each other for who they are
Martha saw Jesus for what he could do for her or she could do for him to gain his favor but Mary had already gained his favor by her openness to love with a pure heart to want to hear Jesus’ heart and Jesus defended her because he saw and knew her heart together their purpose was nothing more than to honor the Father where as Martha’s was to honor everyone at the feast, her culture, and ultimately herself for being a good hostess….it was not manically evil it just was not intimacy with the Father that Jesus loved and loved to bring others into
In our service to the Lord, in whatever that is, in our service to each other if our desire is to promote intimacy with the Lord, real friendships grow, not based on what you can do for me or what I can do for you, but instead on our mutual love of God
Then out of that love, we do the work, the ministry, build the friendships that are bonds for life
Out of that love that is where freedom comes the Holy Spirit is honored and given place because He only desires intimacy with the Father and helping us gain intimacy with the Father.
As men we want respect…it is part of our nature to have and gain respect but we limit our ability to receive and gain respect by our lack of intimacy and vulnerability to the Lord
Ephesians 4:30-32
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath (rage), anger, clamor (harsh words), and evil speaking (slander) be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (NKJV)
The Message
Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. 32 Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
Men, all the respect you want and need to feel like a man can’t come from any personor that person has power over you, yes you can gain their respect by living this way and we must have a good reputation among those in and outside of the church. But if you are grieving the Holy Spirit through your
– anger,
– cutting remarks and jokes,
– jealousy,
– envy,
If you are:
– cruel to one another
– putting one another down rather than building each other up,
– if you are holding unforgiveness
You will never flow in the wisdom, knowledge, power, fearlessness, love, soundness of mind that you can in order to shine….only real men of God can totally be at peace, feel empowered and always at peace, always overcome and feel the respect that comes only from being true to the heart of God
As the world sees that we are “in the Father, and the Father in us” we have the power to conquer and change a broken world around us. Giving out hope, life, love, joy, and freedom and believe me you will gain all the respect you need!
Ladies, you want real relationship that connection of love that doesn’t let go. The only way we can have that kind of love, the love that fulfills and overflows, the kind that allows you to feel completely safe and secure? The Lord wants that for you too but just like the men acquiring respect, real love begins with the Lord…The 1stCorinthians 13 kind of true love only comes from the Holy Spirit’s being alive in us
If we grieve Him…
The Message
Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. 32 Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
Ladies you desire real, honest, unconditional love in all of your relationships, start by allowing the Holy Spirit to be welcomed in all of your relationships…
– walk in forgiveness,
– walk away from gossip,
– from tearing others down
– judging them,
– always giving love and being gentle,
Then the love, power, soundness of mind, deep friendships, love will be yours because the Holy Spirit will be flowing through you
Ladies and Gentlemen both of these examples also apply to your relationships not only with spouses, friends, co-workers, and God but they can be applied to how you raise your children, allowing them to see that you are consistent inside of your home as you are outside the home, that you walk always in forgiveness, that you aren’t slandering other, being critical always, being judgment and harsh…walk always in love, and forgiveness and your children will be different too